and if i knew the doubts would eat me up

i wouldn’t wear my sunday suit

i’d burn the sticky notes with prayers lord

then i’d crawl back into my room

so i won’t go to church on sunday 

wet dreams of sunday mess

wet dress, distressed

forgive me father

for i have sinned

oh daddy take me to church

this weakness made me fucking weird

take me to the place of love

let them touch me for i am sick

let them heal

wash their boredom away

with my tears

with the touches i stole

from those i was cursed to outlive

give my holy father some lithium

he loses his faith completely here

sunday sun tuesday rain

fever till now

i say never again

and after months of skipping services

my point of view stays fixed

i still believe that church won’t do me any good

i crawl back into my room

28.02.2021

bogolepov